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" I Want You "Written By: Presser Pairings : 2x1 Disclaimer : Gundam Wing characters aren't mine Rating : PG Warnings : Sap, angst. Feedback : Yes please.
"I Want You"
God, Heero, do you have any idea what's goin' through my head right now? I'm sitting here, alone, on my couch, my only friend a bottle of cheap shiraz. You? Somewhere in the deeps of space, probably, or wherever Une sent you. When you comin' back? 'Cause I need you, baby, I need you. God, my arms hurt for the lack of you! Fuck that you're not here! Fuck it! Okay, breathe, Duo. You can do it! It's easy! Heero? I've calmed down a bit. I know you can't hear me, but I still have to say this, say this to you. I - I need you. more than just your physical presence, though god knows that's something I need. I need more than just the lovely touch of your skin on mine. I need you in my life. I mean /in/ it, completing it, making it meaningful. I'm in, baby, hook, line, and sinker, as they say in the fishing industry. I have to have you. Mind you, this is not an addiction, just the drivel of one who needs his fix. His Heero fix. No, I need you the way a breath is required by a baby, natural, effortless, just "there." I need you to be there for me. To be here. Do you hear me, Heero? Wherever you are? I'll tell you when you're back, you know. No more hinting, hiding, hoping you'll be the first one to speak. No more hoping, no more quietly longing for you to notice that I - I depend on you. When? Do /you/ know? I know /I/ don't. I just know that the day came when you were more than I could ever remember wanting or needing. Funny how the words just don't come when you need them. Or how they just aren't enough, never enough, to express what the heart says. Laugh with me, Heero. You know? I promised myself once, a long time ago, that I'd never degenerate into one of those saps that used the trite, the banal, to express what I feel. Yet here I am, relying on the tried and true words that millions, probably, have used before me. I love you. I want you. I need you. I cannot do without you. How can these words, these generic words, describe, possibly describe, what I feel for you? When what I feel is so completely unique, fresh, untouchable, never before felt in the history of humankind? Shit, Heero. I don't know. Maybe the human language just can't handle the truth, like Jack Nicholson told Tom Cruise once in a hollywood parody of life. Here's what I know, Heero. Are you listening? I - I cannot breathe, not anymore. Not without you. At least, I don't want to. I want to know that when I breathe, you'll be there. That you'll be the one I breathe for. Will you be there, Heero? For me? I hope to god almighty that you will. Don't know what the future holds -- more words from the store of human language -- but I /do/ know what will happen in the next twenty four hours. You'll come home to me. I'll tell you that I want to live the rest of my life with you. Don't know how you'll react. But I really don't care, you know? Oh, I /do/ care, but I don't. Funny how that works. See, here's the way it is. This is something I have to tell you. Have to. Have no choice in the matter. What you'll do with it -- well, that's what's up for grabs. But I know that I cannot go on the way I have, never letting you know how I feel, never saying what I know is the truth. I want you, Heero. I need you. I want you. I'll tell you when you get home. And we'll see what happens after that. Hey, Heero? Guess what? I want you. Forever. Amen. Duo. ------------------ Owari |
